Saturday, January 09, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
Warning Label
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some
assembly may be required. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during
shipment. Use only as directed. May be too intense for some viewers. If
condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside.
Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. Not responsible for direct,
indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error
or failure to perform. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Your cancelled
check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Employees and their families
are not eligible. Beware of dog. Driver does not carry cash. Limited time
offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. Use only in well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flame. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does
not include taxes, dealer prep, or delivery. Penalty for private use. Call
toll free before digging. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product
appear for identification purposes only. All models over 18 years of age. Do
not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Apply only to affected area. One size fits all. Many
suitcases look alike. Edited for television. No solicitors. Reproduction
strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Objects in mirror
are closer than they appear. Decision of judges is final. This supersedes
all previous notices. No other warranty expressed or implied.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
I don't speak good.
I can hardly speak well, either. My writing is no better than my speaking. I cain't spell and I don't got good grammer, neither.
My current excuse? Why, I live in Kentucky. Which actually is no excuse at all - except for one teeny-tiny lil' detail mentioned in an article he wrote called Only a poltroon despises dedantry. David Mitchell, the guy what wrote that there piece hit the ol' nail on the head. Talking about grammar and the like he said, "...the rules do matter - it's just that obeying them doesn't." 'Ceptin he didn' say it quite right, he shoulda said, 'the rules matter some, just ya don' has to obey 'em much.' Which leads me to my real point in offering this linguistic and grammatical send up. It seems that as a society we Joseph Averages in our egalitarian splendor have accepted the reward but little of the responsibility of rugged individualism. 'I cain do what I wants as long as I don' git caught.' is the same as suggesting that the 'rules do matter - it's just obeying them doesn't.'
Sunday, January 03, 2010
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