The paint isn't dry...

...so please, be careful where you step.

I wrote myself into a corner...and you might well ask, "What color was your prose?"

Umber. In name it is noble with a foundation of humility.

I thought what better use can I make of this chill rainy Saturday morning alone in the house but to write. For the past couple of days a reoccurring thought had been pestering me. In this time of comfortable solitude I was intent on bringing this errant concept-thread to the page. I furrowed my brow, set my jaw and ... took myself way to seriously.

To start I would employ the convention of an illustrative quote ...

I DO NOT WANT WHAT I HAVEN'T GOT
- Sinead O'Connor*

The quote would adequately speak to my central theme but I was immediately concerned about the social and political overtones implied by citing this particular author. I was determined to move forward but only after adding the "*" and disclaimer.

This poetic turn of phrase might be interpreted in this manner: 'If I do not have it I do not want it.' Regardless of the version offered the allusion still remains. Meaning is not conveyed by the statement but by the framing of the 'negative' space.

That's right, I am going to write about talking about something that is by virtue of it's not being.

I recently encountered a situation in which extreme disappointment was expressed regarding unfulfilled expectations. Frequently such dissatisfaction is a result of high expectations - unrealistic goals and objectives and the resultant failure to achieve them. Often there are clearly defined metrics for evaluating such circumstances. Examples might include not scoring a winning touchdown against a better team. Or not receiving the 'expected' bid for a sale item being auctioned.

Unfulfilled expectations ... something that is by virtue of it's not being. Yes, I felt the concentric rings of circuitous ambiguity beginning to constrict. Yet I felt compelled to push on.

Other expectations are less quantifiable. John laments, "My life didn't turn out the way I had expected." The man, John, married his sweetheart, started a family, raised 3 good children, was well employed, lived a long life in a modest home and still his life didn't turn out the way he had expected. While this example is a bit forced it serves as a point of reference when exploring the 'negative' space of expectations.

Well, I have made my premise. Now I should be made to lay down in it. I have drawn you, gentle reader, down this rat rabbit hole with promises of lucidity and insight (I can hear the Red Queen in the background, "Off with his head!")

John's expectation references the negative space of his life while discounting or dismissing his life in situ. John did not endure 3 messy divorces, 2 blended families, being layed-off (twice) or declaring bankruptcy...

Wait, wait, this isn't at all what I expected! There was to be a clearly defined conclusion with a pertinent observation. At least that is what I expected ... when I started.

I was serious when I started. My brow was furrowed, my jaw was set... then I reread what I had written and began to giggle then laugh out loud. In the end the only thing to do was share the entire silly episode.

Gratuitous closing illustrative quote...

I was taken by a photograph of you

Fountain of Sorrow
- Jackson Browne

* I offer no criticism of Ms O'Connor's politics or beliefs. I chose this quote as a handy example of a linguistic illusion.

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Read the head lemur

Micro Review: Kubuntu 8.10

Kubuntu installed flawlessly on VMWare Server

DHCP by default, that is OK at home but I need to set a static IP address.

Network "Connection" config is still lacking. First it was hard to find. Then it didn't set the new network configuration correctly. Finally while I was investigating from the command line (Bonus Tip: sudo bash ) the correct IP addy and netmask mysteriously appeared. All in all not very comfortable for this ol' admin.

KDE 4 is beautiful (and cumbersome) - Eye candy to appease the MS desktop junkies. Desktop widgets are OK. Personally I don't care for the perpetual coming-n-going of tool bars. Either show them or don't but fading in and out is a bit much every time the cursor moves across one.

I did not find the menu choices I expected (e.g. Firefox) Nuff said.

Conclusion:

Kubuntu in a Microsoft world is a significant step in the right direction. It is ideally suited to Joe-the-Plummers who want a real OS and the stability that it brings to a home user's desktop.

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Advocating Slackware since 1997

Hidden Victims

ATHENS, Ga. -- On the eve of the election, long after the late fall sun had set, I went for a walk down Lexington Ave. on the East side of Athens, Ga. I heard from a man named Ed that there was a homeless encampment in the woods down there, something people referred to as Tent City.

When gas prices went up to $3.95 (we're fortunate here in Kentucky) my lunch money dried up. No more 2 and 3 times a week going out for lunch. My expendable income, my recreational 'egg' money ended up going right into my gas tank. I was really beginning to feeling the pinch.

Down the sidewalk after several hundred feet, we came across a fence made from slender logs and some wire. It framed one side of a slight clearing in the woods, opening up for a path. Up a gradual incline, two small wooden structures were visible in the light of a fire, stoked by a man in a baseball cap. We made our way up the path and after a few feet, the beam of our flashlight caught a man lying down directly in front of us, arms sprawled out, either dead, drunk, asleep or all three.

A woman stood up in the second shack, just behind the fire, stretching her arms above her head. Approaching the two, I waved. "Good evening. Somebody told me this was a good place to camp out for a couple nights." The man shook his head and poked the fire with a stick. "Nope. All fulled up."

I pointed to where the path continued behind them. "How about up there?" The woman then, too, shook her head. "You don't wanna go up there. They're crazy up there." She paused. "And they don't like newcomers."

Recently my wife, The Saint, and I sat down and reviewed the state of our family economy. Understanding the degree of sacrifice necessary we decided to acquire a 10' x 16' storage shed. Lacking a garage we are hoping that the additional space will significantly unburden our 1800 square foot 5 person family dwelling.

I went over and said hi to Bobby, poking my head inside his wood hut while he tidied. Above the door was a Georgia Bulldogs flag, a little tattered. Inside, Bobby sat on a small bed, straightening items on top of an old wooden, furniture-style television set. The room was small enough that he could sit on the bed in one spot and touch all four walls, but he keeps it tidy. He smiled bashfully when I asked him if the TV works. He told me, "Yeah, it work, but I don' watch it much." He quickly went back to his tidying, laying out a folded t-shirt on the bed.
. . .
Ed explained to me that the wood shacks were built a while back by members of a Chicago-based organization called The Mad Housers, who visit places like Tent City and assemble these simple, permanent structures for people. "They're a good group," he said. "They have an understanding of housing as a basic human right."

When the Saint said she wanted to home school I made the observation that we would be 'poor' - being a single income family in a two-income economy. The Saint taught home school for 12 years. Just this last fall our youngest transitioned into public highschool. Across those years my single income has bouyed us well. However it has been our austere life style that has made it affordable.

The Saint is in the process of becoming a Certified Home Child Care provider. This will compliment my income nicely. The space freed up by storing our stuff in the shed will be turned in to her 'day care' space. We will continue to enjoy the fruits of our labors and the simple rewards they afford.

Everybody went to bed early, so I watched Obama's acceptance speech alone on the couch. I knew it was an epic moment, one that would define my generation, but I couldn't grasp it. It felt like I was watching underwater or in a thick fog. I watched footage of thousands of crying and cheering people, dancing in the streets all across the country. Sitting alone on a couch in Georgia, a state that voted overwhelmingly for McCain, it all felt very far away.

I knew that there was no dancing in Tent City that night, no tears of joy. I wasn't sure how relevant the lives of those sad and struggling Americans in Tent City were to the lives of these other sad and struggling Americans, who now managed to find their redemption in Obama's victory.

I too stayed up to watch Obama's acceptance speech. In the comfort of my middle class home, surrounded by my family, I celebrated the victory of democracy.

Today I am reminded that my new Amish built 10' x 16' shed would make a very nice home for someone or some family not as fortunate as I or mine.

Excerpts taken from The Place that Hope Forgot to Visit on Election Day
New America Media, News Report, Russell Morse, Posted: Nov 09, 2008

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Read Akma