A New Year's Resolution: Reverse Hyperbole

"We are all going to die."

Well, of course, so what?

We live our lives with no more concern or regard for this understatement than we give thought to our next breath. So then why is it we have a near cataclysmic reaction to the news that some one close to us is dying. Is it because the eminent death of someone close represents a significant loss in our life. It reminds us of our own mortality? Because we are taken by surprise?

Then this should come as no surprise...

I am dying.

Perhaps not a quickly as some might like. Not as theatrically as some might expect. Not as hideously as possible. I am just plain dying. My life is ending.

I can assure you that this is not a volitional act. I didn't just up and decide to die. Nor am I in any way accelerating the process. I don't have a time-table. In fact I don't know if it will happen any time soon. I just know that it is happening.

Knowing it is happening has begun to shape my thinking about the 'right now' and the future. Here is an example...

Instead of living as though I can conserve my life, preserve the longevity of it, I recognize the need to live it as though I won't be around tomorrow.

Lest we all become unduly morose let me illuminate this perspective with a very short story.

I once knew a man. He insisted that it didn't matter where he ate lunch. He would say, "the next meal is pretty much the same as the last."

I was always disquieted by this. First, for me taking food is our most sacred ritual. Second, what if this were to be my last meal? Should I not celebrate the richness and fullness of my fleeting life in this last breaking of bread?

So this is my resolution. I resolve to live out the rest of my days as if I were dying. To grasp at each and every straw as though it were my last. To fill my days with the exceptional not the average or mundane. I resolve to enjoy the living of my life knowing that it will end instead of contriving to save my life by abstaining from all of its riches and excesses.