My Citizen Commuter Permit

My Citizen Commuter Permit (CCP) says 6:15 to 7:15 AM and 4:15 to 5:15 PM. I was able to convince the Civilian Transportation Board (CTB) that with an extended window I could take my children to school on the way to work thereby saving a significant amount of fuel. The Transportation board finally agreed and wrote my permit for the additional 30 minute window. They did not see fit to increase my Fuel Allotment Permit (FAP) citing my assurance of 'saving a significant amount of fuel'.

I was not really surprised about my Fuel Allotment Permit. If they really stuck to a person's recorded driving history, the one they get from each of our vehicles, I am sure the Allotment could be a much smaller. It is an allotment after all. They are not really rationing it. They are always quick to say that by permitting fuel use they can be assured of sufficient supply. Thereby insuring that everybody gets there fair share.

We all understand that if the Fuel Allotment Board (FAB) were to calculate our usage more exactly then the World Oil Conglomerate (WOC) would begin to grouse. Lower profits for the Conglomerate would in turn cause them to reduce the supply. We all know that the FAB is really protecting us from the usury and opportunistic meddling of an outside influence on our great country's fragile economy.

We all know that the FAB is protecting the WOC from us. By offering the fine line illusion that there is sufficient amount of albeit expensive petroleum based fuel the FAB is keeping the radical bio-mass-fuelers at bay. The FAB knows well how quickly garages and garden sheds would be turned into micro refineries (ethanol stills). Soy beans, field corn and grass clippings would all be in short supply.

The Public Information Bureau (PIB) released a statement today that the last W*l-mart in our region has closed. PIB reported that due to the collapse of the "Free Trade Agreements" with other members of our World Community that the prices for non-durable goods could no longer be properly controlled. Fearing what they said could only be characterized as radical or terrorist free market forces on pricing structures the Consumer Protection Board (CPB) had little choice but to curtail all imports of non-durable goods for the foreseeable future.

Heralding the CPB's decision to curtail imports as a 'real achievement in the balancing of trade" the Office of Federal Economic Organizations (OFEO) predicted that the country would stop "hemorrhaging" jobs to the cheap labor of those radical and terroristic free marketeers that are intent on debasing our freedoms and challenging our way of life.

OFEO officials estimated that within 18 months to two years citizens of our great nation will be producing those same items at those same prices. "Jobs will be plentiful as citizens of this great nation work at base pay to insure the American way of life. Young people, as well as the elderly, in this country will never have to worry about getting a job or that new pair of denim jeans they want. We can now return to a time when American Made means made in the USA."

God Bless and keep the Security Home Lights burning bright...